


Across The Stars

by dolefulwritings



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, F/M, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26712130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolefulwritings/pseuds/dolefulwritings
Summary: After years of keeping herself hidden from The First Order, the news of their defeat gives Zara Auter her one chance to get the one thing she wanted most. Revenge for what Kylo Ren had done to her family.-----Alternate timeline where Ben Solo survives, but Rey does not. He flees, but someone is going to make sure they find him.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small introduction to Zala, and the beginning of her journey.

Zala Auter had spent most of recent years hopping from crew to crew, picking up any odd job she could. Her jobs had ranged from simply assisting with transports to mercenary work. She had found that mercenary work suited her, a much needed outlet for her deep-rooted anger. She didn't need much in regards to payment, enough to get needed supplies and any leftover was used to continue her personal project. A meticulously crafted blade, a form of vibrosword. Her true goal was to wield a lightsaber, but they were not an easy weapon to find. Along with the fact that nearly anyone spotted with one was reported to The First Order, it truly wasn't worth the risk. Not until now, that was. The Resistance had somehow done it, finally defeated The First Order. Zala hadn't joined either side in the war, desperate to keep her identity hidden. There were times she could feel the presence of the man formerly known as Ben Solo, and now formerly Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. She'd heard of his exploits on many occasions, and had encountered them firsthand. He was still young when he had gone to Snoke, and young when The First Order had stormed her home planet of Lothal. She was lucky to have escaped, her parents had kept her hidden and she was on the first transport off of the planet. Her brother and parents hadn't been so lucky. Her brother had a strong calling to The Force, much stronger than hers. When their parents had attempted to hide him, his trail was too strong to miss. When Koda had refused to join Ren and his Knights, he was cut down almost immediately. She could remember the screams from her parents, and them meeting the same fate shortly after.

_"You have to go. The second you get the chance, you get on that ship and you get as far away from here as possible." Her mother's orders were panicked and she wrapped a scarf over the head of her daughter. "Zala! Tell me you understand. No matter what happens, you cannot turn around. They've already sensed your brother's Force Signature, you've been able to mask yours for now. The longer you're here, the easier it will be for them to find you." Her mother snapped, hugging her tightly. Zala felt the tears begin to flow as people nearby began to scream, people attempting to escape the wrath of The First Order. Her parents hugged her tightly before moving to pull a small grate from the ground that covered a tunnel connecting to the sewers. She ran to Koda, holding him tightly as she cried. "Please come with me," she cried as her brother pulled away. "They already know I'm here, Zala. I can't come with you, promise me you'll get as far away from them as possible. Go to the farthest reaches of the galaxy if you have to, anything to keep them away from you!" He answered quickly. She could sense his pain and his worry, but her older brother was always the smarter one so she knew it was best to listen. She latched onto him once more, holding him tightly. "Give them hell," she whispered before pulling away. Her parents helped her down into the tunnel, quickly replacing the grate and moving to hide with Koda. Zala couldn't bring herself to leave just yet, clinging to the hope that The First Order men wouldn't find them. That's when she heard it, the gentle hum of a lightsaber as a man completely covered in black dressing appeared in the doorway. There was a strong power emanating from him, his Force Signature so strong she could nearly taste it. "So this is where you've been hiding?" The man quipped, his modulated voice sending a chill through her entire body. A group formed the behind him, all in a similar style of gear. The Knights of Ren. Zala could feel a lump forming heavily in her throat as her brother stepped from his hiding place. "I couldn't make it too easy for you," Koda sneered, standing before his new opponent. "And it won't be easy. Because I will **never** join you, and I refuse to go down without a fight." Koda snapped, pulling a small lightsaber from behind him. Her brother had picked it up from an old smuggler, had spent everything he had just to finally have his own. The masked man let out a robotic laugh, removing his large black cape from his shoulders and allowing it to fall to the ground. "Pathetic," he growled before quickly bringing his saber down. Koda managed to block it, but he was untrained and no match for Kylo Ren. It wasn't long before the much more skilled fighter had made Koda lose his balance, quickly bringing the blade down. She wanted to scream, biting down roughly on her hand to stop herself. Koda was just laying there, completely lifeless. The man had turned to focus on the grate where she was hidden. Zala froze in fear, meeting his gaze as he took a step forward. Her parents darted out from where they were, her father firing a blaster shot but to no avail. Zala quickly began to make her way down the ladder, breathing heavily. The only thing she could hear was the screams of her parents as they were slaughtered, and finally the masked man again. "Get into that grate, someone was down there. Follow the tunnel and kill whoever it was."_

Zala pulled herself from the memory. She had escaped, but a lot of the other people who had been down there didn't. Ren and his Knights left destruction wherever they went, The First Order tearing apart families to get more bodies for it's growing army. That was over now, thankfully. But her job wasn't done, not even close. Kylo Ren was definitely weak at this point, facing the destruction of his grand army and the death of the only people that cared about him. Zala had spent years preparing for this moment, practicing in secret and gathering as much information as possible on her target. She wasn't the only one in the galaxy that wanted him dead, but she was the only one with the means to do it. For the first time since the death of her family, she removed the mask. She knew her Force Signature had strengthened over the years, taking any free time to improve her skills. She had everything she needed, and now it was time to use that to track down the one person left in the galaxy with a strong signature. Zala had managed to get a deal on an old cruiser when she first heard the news, and with jobs being sparse recently she had enough time to get the pile of scrap operational. She had loaded up all of her belongings days prior, feeling content as she heard the doors hiss shut behind her. The last she heard, he was hiding somewhere in the Outer Rim. Her first stop was Cantonica, specifically Canto Bight. She had a few connections there, and they'd most likely have a better lead than what she working with. She made her way to the front of the ship, taking a seat in front of the controls. Zala closed her eyes, centering herself before making an attempt to see if she could sense him. She couldn't pull anything strong, aside from something calling her to the Outer Rim. With that, she decided to power up the vessel and begin her journey to Canto Bight.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zala arrives at Canto Bight, which hasn't been treated kindly since her last visit.

Zala was actually shocked at what she found when she had finally arrived to Canto Bight. The city was still recovering from their trouble with The Resistance, the destruction having caused a bit of an economic drop in the area. Zala wasn't concerned with any of it though, she knew exactly where she needed to go. 'Klang's Place,' a cheap bar located in the city that was frequented by the criminals of the galaxy. She made to secure her belongings to a safe space in the ship, keeping her blade tucked neatly out of sight. She had a few smaller handcrafted daggers hidden in different spots, she wasn't taking any chances. Zala hurried out of the ship, unease washing over her the moment her feet touched the ground. She had been able to pick up on things before, but it was much more defined now that she had unmasked her Force Signature. She nodded to the workers at the spaceport, moving quickly towards the city. Something was prodding her mind, urging her to finish her business on this planet as quickly as possible. She had arrived late into the night and the flashing sign for Klang's Place was easy to spot. The small bar was busy when she entered. She made her way up to the bar, a server making their way to her quickly. "Where's Brax?" She questioned, leaning against the cold counter. "No visitors," the creature answered gruffly. "You tell Brax that it's Zala," she snapped and the creature sighed before disappearing to a separate area of the building. The creature had finally returned, making an indecipherable noise to garner her attention. "Back room and up the stairs to the left. Make sure no one follows you." It stated quickly, Zala nodded before making her way quickly to the back. A large man watched her from the side of the stairs, gaze trained on her as she made her way up the stairs and to the room. She pushed the door open, a smiling forming on her lips as she locked eyes with Brax. Brax was a tall and muscular woman, tattoos scattered all over her body. The olive shirt clung tightly to the woman before her, something Zala had always admired about her. "So you're finally going to do it? You really are crazy as hell!" Brax laughed out, standing up to pull Zala in a tight embrace. "Never said I wasn't, I thought you knew that by now," she answered before the two of them finally separated. "The real question is why exactly you came to me." The other woman responded before resting back down on the large chair in the room. "I need some help pinpointing a planet. Sources tell me he's in the Outer Rim, and I have a strong feeling he really is." Zala went straight to the point, she knew better than to try to bullshit Brax. "I have some contacts on some of the other planets, I can reach out for you but you know you'll have to be here for at least the night." Brax offered, meeting her gaze easily. "Brax, I don't know how long I can wait here. You know it's a big risk for me to be here as it is, if I get recognized there'll be nothing left of me." Zala answered quickly, taking an adjacent seat. "That's all I can offer, Z. But if you're that worried about it, I'll let you hang around with me until I get an answer." The other woman answered, a slight smirk began to form on her lips. "No promises I'll behave myself, though." Brax added, leaning back and placing her large arms behind her head. Zala rolled her eyes, laughing at the comment. "Nice try, but you and I both know how well that worked last time around!" She teased, laughing once more. "Fair point, but I'd recommend hanging around with me until I hear something. I can't go running all over this damn city to find you when I hear something." Brax stated calmly, a mischievous glint still in her eyes. "I'll stick around, but you better keep those hands to yourself. I don't need you distracting me from my main goal." Zala retorted, returning a small smirk. Part of her missed being around Brax, the woman was definitely intimidating but their time spent together was definitely fun. To be fair, there wasn't much of a connection there aside from their compatible personalities. They had fooled around a bit for a short time about four years ago, when Zala had first came to Canto Bight for a pretty big job. Brax had a pretty tight hold on certain areas of the city, so when she found out some random woman was out doing jobs she couldn't resist the confrontation. Zala trusted Brax, not enough to share her Force abilities, but enough to know the other woman wouldn't kill her in her sleep. Brax finally nodded to her and went to a separate side room, Zala attempting to listen to the muffled voices behind the door. She focused intently, finally honing in on Brax's voice. "Looking for information regarding the whereabouts of Kylo Ren, any information welcome. Request is urgent." Zala felt a moment of peace hearing the words, she was finally one step closer. When Brax finally returned to the room there was a slight air of frustration in the room. "What's wrong?" She questioned, quirking an eyebrow at her friend. "Don't hold out on anything good coming back, okay? I know you'll tell me you know, but sometimes you get your hopes up and I don't want you getting pissed off if nothing useful comes back." Brax answered, holding a hand out for Zala to take. She grasped the outstretched hand easily, rising to her feet. "I won't, but I'll find him regardless." She reassured, following Brax to a different connecting room. "I'll let you take the bed for tonight, you know where everything is at. I have some business to attend to downstairs, you know how this place is." Brax huffed before leaving Zala in the room on her own.

It took awhile before Zala had finally drifted to sleep, but it was not peaceful. Painful memories of the years flashed through her mind before she found herself standing in sand, barren landscape dark from the night. Her feet willed her forward, something pulling her forward. A tall figure stood in the distance, and she dared to venture forward. Zala silently closed the distance between them, reaching to place a hand on it. The figure turned abruptly, a man. A current of fear ripped through her, frozen in place. "Who are you?" The man snapped before it was gone. Zala had woken up, cold beads of sweat running down her body. She needed to know not only what that place was, but who was there with her. Though, deep down a part of her knew exactly who it was. She'd never had a dream like that before, assuming it was just a consequence of releasing her Force Signature. Zala exited the bedroom, spotting Brax in her chair with a drink in hand. The man from before sat adjacent to her, the two of them in deep conversation. "Anything?" Zala interjected, causing the two to snap their attention to her. "A little bit, nothing conclusive. I'll tell you, if you want." Brax answered, dismissing the man across from her. Once the man had left Zala took his seat, Brax downing her drink before finally refocusing on Zala. "He's definitely in the Outer Rim, few people claiming they might have seen him on different planets. A few reports on Tatooine of a suspicious man, similar to him, lurking around and buying supplies from local vendors. It doesn't sound like anything reliable, but that's all I got." The woman reported before easing into the seat. "Tatooine? That's perfect." Zala answered, rising from the chair. "I have to leave immediately," Zala started as she brushed off her pants. "Zala, if you're going to Tatooine then don't leave your ship until the sun is out. Unless you're forgetting about the Tusken Raiders?" Brax interjected, grabbing her arm. "I've heard the stories, I'll be safe. Thank you, Brax." Zala answered, placing her hand over the one on her arm. "No problem, but you better not get killed because you owe me one now." Brax answered, releasing her grip. "I don't plan on it." Zala answered quickly, pulling a dark hood over her head. She gave Brax one last look, giving her a small nod and a smile. The two of them had always been bad at goodbyes, and they weren't going to fix that now. Zala finally made her way from the room, feeling Brax watch her as she left.

Zala hurried down the steps, taking no time to pay attention to anything other than getting to her ship. A few eyes turned to watch her as she made her way out of the bar, the small woman essentially racing out of the building. An anxious feeling began to prick at the back of her mind as she made her way down dark alleyways, only feeling relief once the lights of the spaceport came into view. Zala began to make her way down another alley, being knocked to the ground roughly before she stepped out from between the buildings. She looked up to find a hooded figure above her, blaster pointed directly at her head. "Nice try," the man grumbled before pulling his hood down to reveal the man that had been in the room before with Brax. "I wouldn't even think about it, if I were you." She growled, making at attempt to hone in on her mind. Nothing. "What's the matter, freak? Can't use your powers?" He sneered, reaching down to grip her arm roughly. Zala bit down on the man's arm roughly, breaking skin as she reached for the dagger hidden in her boot. She slashed at him quickly, missing as he jumped back. He raised the blaster to fire, Zala flinching as a shot rang out. The man fell to the ground with a thud, Zala turning around quickly to reveal Brax standing at the other end of the alleyway. The shot had clipped the edge of her bicep, leaving a tattered hole in her shirt and a graze on the skin. "Now you owe me even more," the other woman laughed before finally walking over and helping her up. "How did you know?" She questioned, watching Brax snatch the man's blaster. "Had someone I know sitting in the bar tell me he followed you," she answered before flipping the man over and lifting his shirt to reveal a tattoo of The First Order insignia on his upper right shoulder. "There are sympathizers still lurking around, I should have warned you before, but I didn't think they'd be this bold so soon. I had a feeling he was listening in on what we were talking about, but I wanted to see for myself." She added, before standing up. Brax fired one more shot into the man before taking a step back. "You need to be careful, Zala. Especially once you get to Tatooine, it's been a haven for these people. I got another confirmation from a friend out there, they said that there's been quite a few appearances from sympathizers and surviving troops. They never appear twice, so either he isn't there or he's regrouping with them somewhere out there." Brax warned, placing her blaster back into her hip holster and the other one into a separate one. "That or they're getting killed, people weren't exactly loving The First Order." Zala responded, wiping the blade on her shirt before placing it back into her boot. Brax snorted, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "There are quite a few people looking for that monster, someone placed a hefty bounty on him. No one knows if it was The Resistance or just someone wanting him dead, but you need to watch out regardless. You know how desperate people will be to get that reward." She warned once more, before giving Zala's shoulder a soft squeeze and turning to leave. Zala gave her thanks before hurrying out of the alley and towards her ship. She fired it up quickly, setting the navigation for Tatooine. Her first stop was Mos Eisley. It was a dirty and shady part of the galaxy, but it'd be an easy place to gather information. Brax had notified her contact of Zala's impending arrival, advising her to rent a room at the Spaceport Hotel under the name 'Alara Huntley'. Apparently, the contact would be meeting her in the room at some point. Though it lacked an actual primary landing space, it boasted over three hundred separate hangars to choose from. Mos Eisley was a place where it wasn't very hard to stay incognito, which gave her a deep appreciation for it.

It wasn't very long before Zala had finally arrived, breaching the atmosphere of the planet. She could feel it the second she landed, the pull she had felt in her dream from earlier. It gave her an uneasy feeling, but she pushed it down as she stepped out of the ship with a small bag. She paused to take in the scene before her, two suns rising over the barren landscape. Despite the scorching heat, it was truly a sight to see, even if you only got to see it once. She gave a soft sigh as she made her way towards the hotel, it was a subpar place to stay but the people running it never asked questions. She stepped through the entrance and made her way to the desk easily, fishing the required payment out of her pocket. "Name?" They questioned, counting the credits quickly. "Alara Huntley, and I'll be expecting a visitor later." Zala answered, sliding an extra one hundred credits over the counter. The worker gave her a look before passing her a key to one of the rooms, labeled 'Room 26.' Zala nodded to them before making her way towards the rooms, unlocking hers and hurrying inside. She set her bag on the bed, rummaging through the contents before grabbing a few supplies and heading to the bathroom. She took her time in the shower, enjoying a small bit of peace before she'd have to eventually head out into the vast landscape. She began to sense that pull again, feeding into it this time. "Who _are_ you?" The same deep voice from before had prodded into her, Zala pulled away quickly. She stumbled back in the shower, placing her hands roughly against the wall roughly to steady herself. It felt like needles were pricking away at the inside of her head, Zala bringing her hand to her head quickly before focusing enough to finally push it out. She hurried out of the shower, quickly throwing on her typical style of clothing. Tight black pants and a cropped black top, mostly made of lightweight mesh. She grabbed her cloak from the ground where she had thrown it before the shower, throwing it over the outfit loosely before pulling the hood over once more. She could feel something pushing at her mind once more, this time she attempted to use it to her advantage. The question of who she was came once more, a malicious smile formed on her lips. "You'll find out soon enough." She finally answered, and the feeling finally stopped. A knock came at her door and Zala quickly rose to answer, opening the door slightly to see who was standing on the other side. "Zala?" A hushed voice questioned, and she opened the door wider to reveal a man standing on the other side. She looked him over suspiciously, meeting his gaze. "Brax told me to find you here, I have information for you." He finally added, and she stepped aside to allow the man in. "If you try anyt-" she started before the man interrupted her. "Brax already told me if anything happened to you, she'd personally come and find me." He laughed taking a seat on the edge of the bed. She leaned against the wall, taking note that the man seemed a little too friendly to be hanging in the area. "How'd you meet Brax and get into this line of work? You don't seem like the type," she commented as she re-positioned to have a foot propped against the wall. The man chuckled easily at her question, a smile on his face. "I'm not in this line of work, I just owe Brax a favor. I just help her get information when she needs it, I actually do work at the cantina mostly but it's a good place to pick up information." He answered, leaning back a bit. Zala nodded, taking a second to eye the long scar up his forearm. She figured it was better not to ask, she figured he'd have some long story that she didn't have the time for. "So, what kind of information do you have?" She finally asked, allowing herself to relax a bit. "Reports of a man meeting the description of Kylo Ren purchasing supplies from local vendors, from what I've heard he comes by speeder at least once a week around midday. I've heard the speeder heads out towards the Jundland Wastes, but I have no way to verify that. Locals are speculating he went to rebuild the former Lars homestead, since it was pretty isolated and would most likely have an emotional connection for him. But like I said, that's just speculation. Zala nodded, standing up and stretching out her arms. "You said he visits local vendors about once a week, when's that last time he was spotted?" She questioned, finally taking a seat in a chair in the corner of the room. "Nearly a week ago, if I were you I'd keep an eye out over the next few days. It's very likely he'll be around soon, if I hear anything I'll be sure to let you know." The man finally stood up, preparing to leave. "Will you be at the cantina tonight?" She added, standing up as well. "Nearly every night, it gets very busy. Ask for Crix, that's me, and I'll take the time to talk with you." He responded, a smile still hanging on the corner of his lips. Zala extended a hand, him reaching out and shaking it. "Nice to meet you, Crix. I'm sure I'll be by tonight, need to see for myself before I go running off, so I'll probably be around here for a few days." Zala smiled, pulling her hand away and opening the door for him and allowing him to exit. He gave her a quick nod and smile before finally walking off.

Zala quickly began to collect her weapons, pulling back her cloak to place the crafted vibrosword into a holder on her back. She placed a smaller in her boot, another on her hip, and a final one up near her chest. There was no way she was going out without having some form on protection on her. Mos Eisley was risky enough as it was, and if Kylo Ren was going to be making an appearance she knew she needed to be prepared. She readjusted the hood of her cloak, and strutted into the bathroom with a small bag. She covered her top lip with a deep shade of black before pulling a small tube of eyeliner from the back, placing a thin curved line on her upper lid. She brought the tip of the pen to her inner corner, pulling the black gel down into a curve. She placed the two items back into the small bag, inspecting herself in the mirror before finally tossing the small bag onto the bed. She grabbed the larger of the two bags, slinging it over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and being sure it was locked behind her. She stopped at the front, the clerk watching her uneasily. "I'll be gone for the day, I'll return tonight. Do not let anyone enter my room." She said, sliding some more credits over the counter. She knew that it was easier to just pay for silence, especially in an area like this. Most people barely had the credits for drinking water, so it was always the best option for getting things done her way. The clerk nodded, eyes still on Zala as she hurried off. If she found even a single item out of place in her room, she simply cut the clerk where they stood. It'd at least give the other workers a reason to listen to her, and that's what she wanted. No questions, just compliance. She kept her hood tight on her head as she made her way through the different vendors. She was trying to keep her focus elsewhere, patiently waiting for that feeling from before. Zala knew that the second he got near Mos Eisley, she'd be able to find him. And if it wasn't him, it'd at least give her the chance to see who had been messing with her mind.

After awhile of just wandering around and buying miscellaneous supplies, Zala paused at a food vendor. An elderly man, using his own supplies to sell Tatooine Terrine for a reasonable price. She ordered herself a bowl, leaving a few extra credits for the man before finding a secluded spot near the vendors to sit and survey. She took her time eating, savoring every bite of the terrine. Zala could feel a pair of eyes on her, gaze essentially burning a hole in her face. She finally looked up to meet the gaze, breath hitching in her throat as she locked eyes with the man just a few yards away. A chill wracked her body, adrenaline rushing as she stared into the familiar dark eyes. The man began to slowly walk towards her and Zala rose to her feet, leaving the remaining food and sprinting as quickly as she could. She turned a corner quickly, pressing herself against a wall as she attempted to catch her breath. She didn't expect to see him so soon, and she definitely didn't expect him to just go straight towards her. She could feel him close, most likely in the area she had just been. As much as she hated it, she knew she had to at least walk back so she could figure out which direction he would leave in. " _Running so soon?_ " The familiar voice in her head sneered, agitating her as she willed herself back to the vendors. " _Hardly, you'd love that too much._ " She answered, keeping herself pressed against the pale building as she cautiously made her way back. There was a dark chuckle that played in her head as she turned the final corner, spotting the man a fair distance away with his back facing her. " _You think I don't know you're back there? You'll have to be sneakier than that._ " The man teased again, causing her to stop in her tracks. " _Funny, I wasn't planning on being sneaky when I separated your head from your shoulders._ " She sneered, and then the feeling was ripped away from her. The man turned around, meeting her gaze for just a moment before stepping deep into the crowd. Zala attempted to follow, trying to make her way through the herd of people but eventually lost sight of her target. She paused for a moment, centering herself and feeling out into the crowd around her. She could sense him faintly, off in the distance. A smirk played at her lips as she quickly began to move forward, finally breaking through the crowd. She spotted him off in the distance, quietly talking to Crix. Zala stopped, eyeing them from a distance. Kylo turned his head to meet her gaze once more, flashing her a devilish smirk. Crix followed his gaze, eyes widening as he spotted Zala. Crix began to move away quickly, Zala quickening her pace. He finally broke into a sprint and Zala followed, knowing she had the confirmation she needed and now needed to deal with the man that had originally given her the information. Zala finally caught him as turned into a deadend, fishing the blade from her hip and throwing him to the ground. She pinned him to the ground, blade held against his throat. "I recommend you start explaining!" She snapped, watching the man breathe heavily under her grasp. "I-I'm sorry! I can't just let you kill him! He's changed, he's not the same person!" Crix cried out, causing her to press the blade lightly into his throat. "Oh? You mean the same man that slaughtered my family? The same man that nearly wiped out my entire city on his quest to force children to join his pitiful regime?" She growled, anger coursing through her veins. The man began to cry under her grasp, a small amount of blood beginning to appear where her dagger was pressed. "Let him go." A voice called from behind her, causing her to turn. And there he was, standing at the end of the alley. "You!" She snarled, releasing Crix and rising to her feet. He quickly scrambled back from her, breath still ragged and she began to stalk forward. Zala paused in front of him, wiping the dagger on her pants and then placing it back on her hip. She quickly went to reach behind her for the vibrosword, only to be frozen in place. Her gaze shot forward, Kylo Ren standing before her with an arm extended. "I hate to do this, but you obviously need it." He sighed, trudging forward. He waved a hand in front of her slowly, her mind fading to black as she collapsed almost to the ground but quickly being caught in a pair of arms and lifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on getting a decent amount of chapters done, so I'll be trying to update this weekly. I'll try to put up a chapter each week, potentially two if I get ahead enough. Also, thank you to everyone that left a kudos on the last chapter! I appreciate it!


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zala wakes up and needs to settle her issue with Crix.

When Zala finally awoke, she was in her room at the hotel. She had been placed on the bed and a blanket pulled over her. She noticed her cloak missing and sat up quickly, feeling around for her weapons. "Looking for these?" A voice questioned from across the room, leaning against the doorway to the bathroom was Kylo Ren twirling one of her daggers easily in his hand. A deep chuckle reverberated in the room as he looked up to meet her gaze. "You really thought you could kill me with these?" He questioned, a smirk playing on his lips. "You act like it'd be hard," she answered, temper rising. "So angry," he laughed before tossing the dagger to her. She caught it quickly, eyeing him suspiciously. "Go ahead, make your attempt so you can leave me alone." He said with a laugh, rolling his eyes. Zala launched herself from the bed and towards him, only to be met with a hard hit to her side. She went crashing into a table on the far side of the room, blood dribbling from her now split lip. Zala pulled herself up from the ground, grabbing a broken piece of wood and throwing it at him as hard as she could. He moved towards her slowly, a large hand grasping her throat roughly and slamming her against the wall. "Just give up," he growled and Zala laughed. "Jokes on you, I like this," she sneered before striking him roughly in the face. He stumbled back, clutching his face. She felt her lips form into a smile as he moved his hand away, revealing an equally bloody lip. "Oh look, now we match." She laughed, her laughter cut short as she felt the pressure against her throat. She felt herself slide up the wall slightly, clawing at her throat roughly. She extended her own hand, making an attempt to return the pain. Zala smirked as his eyes went wide for a second, and they both released each other. Zala fell to the floor roughly, gasping as she finally looked up at him. "How did you do that?" He snapped, towering over her. "Same way as you, moof-milker!" She snipped, rising to her feet unsteadily. "You shouldn't be able to do that, you're Force Signature isn't even that strong!" He growled, pacing her small room. "Upset you're not the only one left? Or just still temperamental, Ren?" She sneered, only to be met with a look of anger. "That isn't my name anymore," he grumbled before continuing his pacing. "There's no way I wouldn't have found you before, especially if you can do that!" He added, obviously frustrated. "Well, you didn't. And spare me your 'changed man' bullshit, I've seen your ways firsthand." She returned, finding herself no longer willing to stand and sitting on the pile of broken wood. "What do you mean?" He questioned, turning to face her again. "You don't even remember!" She snapped, weakly flinging a piece of wood at him. He dodged it easily, staring at her intently. "Show me." He demanded, crouching on the ground in front of her. "Unlikely, I won't have a genocidal maniac picking through my brain." She quipped, glaring at him. "Just show me! I know you can do it," he snapped as he inched closer. "Fine! I'll show you exactly what kind of person you are." She snapped back, and sat back as he reached a hand out. The pricking sensation started once more, Zala pulling the memory to the forefront. She didn't want him seeing anything aside from that. She watched as his face twisted uncomfortably, pain clear in his eyes as he finally pulled back. "I'm sorry." He stated softly, matching her gaze. "Your apologies mean nothing to me, it won't bring them back." Zala retorted, giving a frustrated huff. "Neither will killing me," he added as he sat on the floor. "Maybe not, but killing Kylo Ren will give them the vengeance they deserve." She snapped back quickly, hands balling into fists at her sides. "Kylo Ren is already dead, and so are his knights." He answered, voice a bit distant now. Zala let out a frustrated grunt, attempting to get up only to be met by a sharp pain in her side. "Here, I can fix that." He urged, reaching out to her. Zala swatted his hand away weakly, feeling a bit of satisfaction as he backed away. "I can take care of myself. And you really must be a moron if you even think taking that risk is worth it." She answered, clutching her side. "You're being overdramatic, I've had this happen before and I didn't end up bonded to anyone." He sighed, stretching out his legs as he studied her pained expression. "I'm not even going to get close to taking that risk with you. And for the record, your little friend will be dead tonight." She answered weakly. "As if you'll be killing anyone in this state," he quipped with another eye roll. "I've got the job done in worse conditions, I'll manage. So I suggest saying your goodbyes soon." She argued, finally rising to her feet. "You act like I'll be letting you get anywhere near Crix." He laughed, standing up quickly. "Then I'll kill you first." Zala grumbled, hobbling over to her bag. "Because you've done such a great job so far," he snapped back as he moved quickly to grab the bag for her. "Quit trying to help me!" She barked, snatching the bag from his hands angrily. She fiddled through the contents, wincing each time she moved. She felt the man grab her, Zala thrashing around angrily in his grasp. He overpowered her easily, hovering a hand over her side. She gasped as the sensation tickled her body, as if her entire body was taking a breath of fresh air. The pain was gone in almost an instant, and she used the opportunity to shove him off. "What is wrong with you?" She shouted, backing away from him. "You're not going to find anything in that bag that'll stop internal bleeding!" He yelled back, a look of frustration crossing his face. "Genocidal maniac and part med droid? Interesting mix," she commented as she glared at him once more. "You should be grateful!" He growled, hands flying in the air in frustration. "Grateful to Kylo Ren? I'd off myself before that would ever happen!" She laughed in disbelief, throwing items back into her bag. "I told you, that's not who I am anymore!" He snarled, grabbing her arm roughly in anger. "Doesn't seem that way," she seethed as she pulled away. He kept his grip tight on her arm, the look in his eyes causing a chill to run up her spine. "Kylo Ren is _dead_ , I killed him. I killed The Knights of Ren. I am Ben Solo, but I recommend you quit testing my patience!" He snapped, grasp tightening on her arm. "Then I recommend you let me go, _Solo_." She answered, voice hushed down to a threatening whisper. He released his grasp, taking a quick step back. She reached her hand up to hover over his face, centering herself finally and allowing herself to heal the small bit of damage she caused. He stared at her in disbelief. "Now we're even. I'm not going to have you already weak when I finally kill you." She stated, pulling her hand back to her side. "No one has done that sin-" Ben started but she raised a hand to silence him. "Spare me your little sob story, Solo. I want you out of my room, because once I get my hands on a drink I'm going to kill Crix." She snipped, setting her bag up neatly on the bed before quickly gathering her weapons and placing her cloak back on. She shoved past Ben, exiting the hotel room. He was right on her heels, not that it took much effort with how big of steps he took. "I'm not going to let you kill him, you should know that by now." He answered, matching her stride to walk next to her. "Cover your face if you're going to bother me, I don't want to be caught with you." She grumbled, adjusted the hood to cover her face. Her makeup was smudged, but the only thing she really cared about was getting to the cantina so she could get a couple drinks down and kill the little bastard behind the bar.

Mos Eisley Cantina was extremely busy at night, the two hooded figures drawing quite a bit of unwanted attention. Crix tensed as she walked in, only calming once he realized Ben was right behind her. There was a bandage on his throat, Zala smiled at the sight. "I hope that leaves a scar, you're lucky your guard dog was there." She sneered, taking a seat on one of the stools. Ben took a seat next to her, Crix eyeing them suspiciously. "What happened to your assassination plot?" He questioned, quirking an eyebrow. "I suggest you don't even try teasing me. If you think I won't kill you in the middle of this bar, you're wrong. And I'll do it so quick, Solo over here won't be able to stop me." She hissed, causing Crix to gulp. He brought over two drinks, Zala downing hers quickly. They both gave her an uneasy look, before they shared a look of their own and Crix disappeared to different area of the bar. Zala could feel Ben staring at her, always looking away when she would turn her head. "What?" She finally snapped, eyeing him angrily. "I actually am sorry. I carry the guilt with me constantly. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I've lost everything and now I understand the pain I've inflicted." He answered, Zala studied his face intently. She could tell he meant it, and for a split second she wanted to pity him. That feeling was gone the moment Crix approached, Zala feeling her temper flare up once more. It dissipated quickly when she realized he brought more drinks, eyeing him suspiciously as she downed another. "You seem to be doing just fine to me, hiding in the Outer Rim." She commented, glancing over at Ben for just a moment. He sighed, setting his drink down on the bar top. "I haven't slept properly since that night. Everytime I close my eyes, everything I did haunts me." He answered, keeping his gaze forward. "Good." Zala answered gruffly, rising from the stool. She turned from the bar, walking off quickly. She didn't want to get sucked into his bullshit, and definitely wasn't in the mood for his little pity party. He deserved to suffer. "You don't really believe that, do you?" Ben called from behind her, catching up to her with just a few quick steps. "Stay out of my head, Solo." She snipped, dropping her hood for one of the first times all day. "It's not my fault you constantly project your thoughts." He huffed, pulling his hood down too. "Here's a question for you, Solo. Explain to me why one of your little First Order crazies tried to murder me earlier?" She questioned, not breaking her stride. "How should I know? I told you, that part of me is gone. I've been on Tatooine since we killed Palpatine." He answered quickly, keeping pace with her. "Hiding from the people whose lives you ruined?" She answered, taking a moment to look over at him. He wasn't what she was expecting, honestly. She figured the creature behind that mask had been some sort of horrid monster, but instead it was just a man. She almost wanted to say he was handsome, but her train of thought was quickly derailed as he gave a laugh. "Can you please just stop projecting your thoughts?" He chuckled, looking down to meet her gaze. There was a small flicker of amusement in his gaze, almost enough to make her smile. _Almost_. "I wonder how long they'd lock you away for if they found you." She commented, pulling her gaze away. "I don't know if they even would, but I do know that they absolutely hate me." He answered, still keeping his gaze focused on her. "Seems to be a pretty common stance in the galaxy," she added with a small chuckle. "You'd think you killed somebody or something," she joked as made her way to the edge of Mos Eisley. "That would make two of us, at least." He commented, with a soft smile. Zala took a seat on a metal crate, pulling it away from the building so she could take a minute to just sit and enjoy the view. "What would you know about that?" She questioned, turning to face him as he pulled up a similar crate and took a seat beside her. He was way too big to the crate, stretching out his legs so he could at least be somewhat comfortable. "Oh please, Crix told me everything he knew about you the moment he got the message from your friend." He answered, staring up at the sky. "Ever think about leaving this place? I'm sure there are nicer places to be." She asked, studying his face. "Sometimes. I don't really think I'd be welcome anywhere else, honestly." He answered. Zala noticed the pained expression on his face. "I take it The Resistance wasn't happy that you were the one that made it out?" She responded, noticing how he nearly winced at the mention of them. "You could definitely say that," Ben answered, his voice hushed. For the first time in her entire her life she saw him as just a man, someone who was obviously harboring a lot of pain. For the first time she found herself actually wanting to give him a chance, to see if he actually had changed. Maybe the mental torment was enough of a punishment, but Zala still wasn't completely convinced. Wondering if things would have been differently if her brother had surrendered. "They wouldn't have been." He answered, a twinge of pain in his voice. "Even if your brother had surrendered, Snoke would have had me kill him. There was too much light in him, he wouldn't have been able to change that." Ben added, a frown clear on his face. Zala could feel her own sadness amplified, tears beginning to pool and threatening to spill. "His name was Koda, right?" Ben questioned, catching her gaze for a moment and noticing the expression her face. He placed a hand on hers, meeting her eyes directly. "I wish someone else had found him before me. I'm sorry." He answered, voice cracking as he made another apology. Zala looked towards the ground, feeling Ben squeeze her hand gently for a moment. She pulled back, regaining her composure. "I need to return to my room." She stated, voice flat as she struggled to conceal her emotions. "Hey-" Ben started but she had already started walking. Zala knew he wasn't following this time, and as she soon turned the corner and was out of his sight she broke into sprint. She hated him, she truly did. But a part of her also truly felt bad for him. She entered the hotel room quickly, finally allowing herself a moment to break. The tears came almost immediately, and didn't stop for hours. She could feel Ben's guilt and suffering on a very slight level, and she hated it. Eventually her emotions had worn her down to the point to where she finally drifted to sleep, this time into a slumber that was peaceful for once.

Zala woke to a sharp knock on her door, opening the door to reveal the clerk from the front desk. "A man dropped this off for you." They stated blankly, handing her a small black box. Zala nodded and closed the door as soon as they turned around, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. She lifted the lid off of the box, revealing a small note. Coordinates were scribbled on the paper along with "If you find me, I can help you hone in on your abilities. - Ben Solo". Zala rolled her eyes. Training? It was almost like he wanted her to kill him. She let herself fall back on the bed with a huff, concentrating deeply on the energy around her. Finally, she caught a sense of exactly what she was looking for. " _If I come out there, it's only so I can figure out the best way to kill you_." A gentle deep laugh and then finally his response. " _I'll see you soon then._ " Zala let out a small laugh, sitting back up. She placed the note gently back in the box, and started gathering her things. She packed her bag, placing the box gently on top. She finally made her way to the front desk, placing the key to her room on the counter. The clerk nodded, turning back to their work as Zala headed off towards her ship. She knew she'd have to make her ship her own little setup for now, and she definitely didn't want to deal with loaning a speeder. Thankful the ship still had a decent supply of necessities and she knew she could make a quick escape if needed. Zala hurried to the controls, setting her bag to the side and firing up the engines. She wasn't sure why she was feeling excited, but she decided it was better than what she had been feeling last night. She plugged the coordinates into the system, lifting off quickly. The coordinates took her a decent bit away, but still in the general direction of the Jundland Wastes, so at least Crix hadn't lied about that. She still wanted revenge for getting setup like that, but knew it would have to wait. Plus, it was a little bit more fun to make him wait so he was constantly on edge. Zala deployed the landing gear, powering down the ship exactly where the coordinates had directed her. She grabbed her bag, stepping out of the ship. She surveyed the area, noticing that there wasn't really anything in the area. She felt a twinge of annoyance, had he tricked her? She took a moment to reach out to him, making at attempt to grab his attention. " _Where exactly did you send me, Solo?_ " She could feel him push back at her, relief flooding through her. " _Turn around, other side of the ship._ " So she made her way around, spotting a small bit of white in the distance, and then the tall figure nearby. She rolled her eyes, trudging towards him. He watched as she approached, laughing at her disgruntled expression. "Seems like you're not very good with coordinates." She grumbled, readjusting her bag on her shoulder. "I didn't know if you'd try to crash that piece of flying scrap into my little setup here." He laughed, extending a hand. "Let me take your bag, I'll show you around." He offered and for once, Zala complied. She didn't want to make a habit of listening to him, but she didn't mind the idea of not having to lug her bag around. He lead her through the entrance, Zala noting that he had to crouch down quite a bit to fit properly. "What's the matter? Too big for your 'little setup?" She laughed, following him down the stairs. The inside was surprisingly nice, and quite a bit bigger than she expected. Ben took her through each of the rooms, explaining different design choices he had made. It was an interesting home, but his decoration skills were definitely subpar. Better than expected, but still not exactly up to her preference. Honestly, she had been expecting something very dark and uncomfortable. "Very funny, but I think this place looks just fine." He commented, leading her back out to the main room. "Stop doing that," Zala grumbled as she sat on the beige colored couch. She leaned back into the soft cushions, letting out a gentle contented sigh. Ben plopped down next to her, causing her to bounce up off of the piece of furniture for a brief second. They both laughed at the little incident before Zala straightened herself out, putting her guard back up. "So, why exactly are you doing this?" She questioned, eyeing him cautiously. She needed to stop getting distracted, needed to stop forgetting that this is the person that took her family from her. "You're strong, I can feel it. You've got a lot of potential. And I want to show you that I've actually changed, that I'm not that person anymore." He answered, searching her eyes for any swaying emotion. "You can't make me not hate you." She answered, her tone flat. "Zala," Ben started, placing a gentle hand on her knee. "I know you don't want to hate me, I felt it last night. Let me give you a reason to not hate me." He finished, still searching for any sign that his words were working. Zala tried hard to mask her thoughts, knowing he was right. She met his gaze, taking notice of the mix of sadness and hopefulness. It tugged at her emotions just a bit, her placing her hand gently over his. That's when she felt it, a rush of emotions. Pain and regret for things she hadn't done, a deep and prolonged sadness. She pulled back almost immediately, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden surge. "What was that?" She questioned, her voice frantic. "I'm sorry! I didn't realize that would happen!" He jumped quickly, pulling back almost as quickly as she had. "You should feel bad, you should be sad." She stated quietly, watching as he looked at the floor. "I know. I know I deserve this. But let me have a chance to at least changed your mind. I can't change everyone's minds, but I'd at least like to try to change yours." He responded, his voice solemn as he avoided her gaze. "Why? Why does it matter so much?" She prodded, eyes trained on him in attempt to read him. "You're easily one of the only Force sensitive people left in the galaxy, at least at this level. If I can show you I'm different, after everything you've been through, it'll show that I truly am." He answered, still avoiding her gaze. Zala felt like it was only part of the truth, like he was holding something back, but she didn't press it. She just nodded, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. "Then show me," she answered, giving him a gentle squeeze. Ben met a gaze finally, his face molded into an expression she couldn't quite grasp. She rose to her feet, extending out a hand to help him up. "Better get to work then." She stated, flashing him a small smile. He returned the smile, and she could feel him relax as he took her hand and rose to his feet. 

The pair had lost track of time, Zala spending a majority of the time just listening to Ben recount old tales of different Force users. The light outside was gone now, not that the two of them were really paying any mind to the passing time. Ben had wandered off to the kitchen area, leaving Zala on her own on the couch. He returned only a few moments later, two ceramic mugs in his grasp. "Tea?" He offered, passing a mug to her. She obliged, taking the cup happily and relaxing into the soft fabric. She watched as he returned to the spot next to her, mug looking ridiculously small in his hands. "I want you to show me." She finally stated, focusing her gaze intently on his. "Show you what?" He questioned back, leaning a bit forward. "How strong you are," Zala answered simply before allowing the mug to finally meet her lips and taking a quiet sip. There was a shift in the energy in the room when she finally spoke the words, the electricity flowing between the two of them basically palpable. "I can show you everything you've ever wanted to know, show you the strength you've been repressing." Ben answered, his tone was hushed but you could feel the power behind his words. Zala nodded cautiously, remaining still as he moved himself closer. He reached out, a soft hand cupping her face gently and she closed her eyes. She couldn't explain the feeling that was pulsating through her body, intent on focusing on the moments flashing in her mind. Memories that weren't hers, quick scenes of what he was capable of. A moment of understanding, realizing that his path had been laid out for him for a long time. Suddenly, a small flash of a memory of him as child. The power was still there, but much more subdued. Resentment boiling deep underneath the surface, a feeling of being deeply unloved. Zala hadn't realized she was holding her breath until he finally pulled back, her breathing uneven. "Do you understand now?" His voice was low, gaze piercing through her as she finally opened her eyes. She met him with a similar ferocity, nodding slowly. "How do I reach that point?" She pressed, the room suddenly feeling very small. "I'll teach you, but you have to be patient. This will take time and a lot of work." He answered before finally settling back into his seat. The feeling faded a little quicker than Zala would have liked, not that she'd push for more than that right now. "We'll start tomorrow." Ben added, picking up the two mugs from before. "But for now, I'm going to sleep." He stated finally, rising to return the drinkware to his kitchen. "I'll be heading back to my ship then," Zala commented as she also rose to her feet. "Oh? Alright, I'll walk you out then." He answered, and Zala could almost swore there was a hint of disappointment in his voice. It was probably lonely out here alone, considering there was no one around from what she could tell and the fact it seemed like the only person he was capable of speaking to being Crix. He set the two mugs on a small table, leading her up the stairs to the exit. She stood back for a moment at the exit, the two sharing a soft look. Zala gave him a small smile, preparing to finally leave. Then, a gentle reminder prodded her to stop. "I almost forgot my things," she chuckled as a slight smile formed on his lips. "Let's go grab them then," he answered as she followed him back down the steps. They reached for the bag at the same time, hands lingering together for a small moment. The feeling from before completely wrapped itself around her and Zala quickly grabbed the bag, tossing it over her shoulder. "I-I'm gonna get going then," she finally stated, as she turned quickly and made a quick paced break for the exit. The second she hit the steps she couldn't deny the subtle heat in her cheeks, nearly sprinting to her ship as soon as she stepped out of the door.

She tossed her bag to the ground as soon as door closed behind her, mentally cursing herself for showing even slightly that she had noticed what had happened. She slammed her hands roughly against the metal, enjoying the release of her frustrations but seething at the pain. Zala made her way to the small sleeping area she had setup, huffing loudly as she tossed herself down onto the bedding. Surely it wasn't just her that had been picking up on this? Her mind wandered back to the way he had been staring at her, the way his hand felt gently cupped onto her face. Just thinking about it made her chest tighten, a feeling that she hated. Zala turned onto her side, closing her eyes as tight as possible and attempting to drown out the thoughts swarming around in her mind. Tomorrow, she was definitely going to kick his ass for this.


End file.
